Don't Count Those Chickens!

You would think with living the "Military Life" and even just having made it to this stage in life, I would have learned this lesson. At least to not "count out loud".

I am such a trusting person. When I am told something is going to happen, I have no reason to doubt this. The truth is, people don't always follow through... or they have their own time frame.

The main thing that has proven this lesson to be correct is the military. I love this life (difficult as it is). However, there have been so many times that Brian has been told one thing will might happen. I try so hard to remember that things change...that what is said rarely happens as planned. But even with that in my mind, I open my big mouth (like I am right now) and I share information that I am excited about. Then... things change, and I am left looking like an idiot for saying anything. So, after that happens about 20 times, why spend that emotion!? Why share? Why do I keep opening myself up and allow myself to be viewed like this? I don't know that this WILL change. I don't know that I WANT myself to change. I like that I think the best of people first. I don't want to always think "I'll believe it when I see it." BUT... I do need to keep things to myself if it is not set in stone.

All of this came about because we have been having difficulty receiving one of the loans that was promised by someone. It is a loan from a person (as opposed to a bank loan), interest free, and relaxed payback timing (although time of birth is still our goal). We are in this same situation where we need to pay for things right now. I have been taking a break from "bugging" everyone with constant fundraisers, because I was counting on this. But here I am again, "egg on my face" unprepared for a variation from the plan. Fortunately we are not at risk of complete standstill and loss of the progress we are at. However, I still look like an idiot, and will be back to "bugging" you all with our fundraisers! :-)

I am excited to hear about Caryn's appointment today, and for her to share with you!

...The Right One...

I can't believe with so much happening, I have not posted for almost 2 weeks! I have had so much on my mind, and it is so hard for me to put things into words.

As I said last week, we had 5 good embryos that survived through the freezing. They did a biopsy on each embryo just before the freezing for the micro-array/24 chromosome test. At that point they labeled the embryos #1 through #5. On the 12th, I received a call from the doctor with the results of the tests. We have 3 abnormal embryos. Number 3 and number 5 came back normal. There is a lot of information on this testing process on the clinic's website. This test assists in choosing the most "competent" embryos. By doing this, we know that these are the most likely to result in a successful pregnancy. It also increases the "risk" of multiples. Yay!

I was very upset for a couple days about the number of normal embryos. However, I have come to realize that we only need 2. We have increased the odds of success but knowing which ones to choose. Also, we will not have any eggs after the transfer, so we will not be spending the extra money to store embryos that would not result in pregnancy even if we did use them later on (which has never really been in any plan).

With the disappointment on the "one and only shot", I just keep trying to remember that we have such strong possibilities with what we DO have.

I am reminded of a quote from "Little Women". Amy March says: "You don't need scores of suitors. You need only one... if he's the right one." Obviously this is talking about men. However, it still applies. We don't need 8 embryos. We only need 1 (or 2)... if it is the right one.

From Fertilization to Freezing

Wow! I can't believe I haven't updated since the retrieval! So here is the numbers:
Sept 27 Retrieval: 8 eggs retrieved.
Sept 28 Day 1: 6 usable eggs and and all 6 fertilized!
Sept 30 Day 3: All 6 still going strong
Oct 3 Day 6: Only 5 survived through days, biopsy and freezing. All 5 look excellent and are ready for transfer.

They are doing a micro-array/24 chromosome test. This will help decide which 2 of the 5 to transfer. The results should be back by the end of next week...ish.

It is such a crazy feeling at this point! It seems like everything is happening so fast now! I know the time is going to fly by, because we have so much going on right now. But basically, all the medical stuff for Brian and I is done! The babies are created, and just waiting for the "pod" to be ready! :-)