We are half way done with this year! Wow! I am so excited for this summer. I am determined to spend as much time outside as possible! Doing pretty good so far. Hit the pool a few times this week. One day by myself, and then 2 days with kids.
Today, we are going to attempt the beach... with 2 kids. I have not taken kids to the beach before, just pools. Also, never gone to the beach here on a weekend, and we are going 4th of July weekend. It will be fun!
I have spent so much time this week on the phone. Everything is really starting to come together. I am amazed at the speed of it. Have the lawyer. Getting all that info emailed to them to get done this week. Been talking with the IVF coordinator, and we are "manipulating my cycles" to get everything on schedule. Also talked with a Tricare advisor to find out how everything needs to work for them. We are on schedule for creating embryos in September! Then hoping to do the transfer in October or November! November seems like so far away, but I know it is right around the corner.
Brian is leaving for training this month, and will be back at the beginning of August. He is getting excited that everything for the baby is coming together.
My brother, Andrew is marrying his love, Monica, at the end of July! I can not wait to see them! I will be driving with my other brother, Patrick and beautiful sis-in-law, Laura. BTW... Today is their 4th anniversary!
I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL and SAFE weekend and holiday!
Oh boy! These are the kinds of weeks that I think "You mom's must have super powers!" I don't have kids 24/7 and I just can not seem to catch up! Lol.
Since my last update, we have made some major progress on the baby front! I learned how to use Skype! :-) Brian and I had our Skype consult with the Doctor from Arizona Center for Fertility Studies. I think that was actually in my last update. Basically, he just walked us through the basics of the process. I really like him. At the beginning of June, I had my appointment with my Gastro doctor. There is no change in my illness at that time. We talked about the surrogacy, and he is excited for us about it. He cleared me for the stimulation and egg harvesting! YAY! :-) I will, however, have to have appointments with him every 2 weeks during the process. Wow!
I had an appointment with the IVF coordinator last week. Talk about information overload! It was awesome though. She went through every tiny detail of the process. So many tests! So many meds! Lol. Already, every step of this, I am just amazed at the ability to do this! We worked out a tentative schedule for the egg harvest and creating the embryos. Looks like we are going to be completing this phase approximately the end of September! That is only 3 months! They will create the embryos and then freeze them until we are ready for implant.
We are still unsure of when Brian's deployment is, so I am glad that we will have that phase done! Plus that way we don't have to stress about Caryn and my bodies "syncing" correctly. Less stress=better chance of results. :-)
We had another yard sale last weekend. I am shocked at how well they are doing! This one, we made about $300! I am also loving that my house is getting cleared out! ;-)
I started a weight loss challenge with my Herbalife products! I am down almost 10lbs now, and feel so much more alert and in control of my body!
I also just found this awesome company through a friend, called Wildtree. I got a bunch of samples of the product and am really wanting to do a tasting soon. It is a line of all natural cooking
products that helps you make healthy and delicious meals from scratch
while cutting your grocery bill in half! I have only tried a few things so far, but it all looks soooo good, and simple! They are also a peanut free facility!
I used the "Just Like Mom's Meatloaf" Mix and
made meatballs. They were sooo good!
I am starting a new site to have all the info about Herbalife and Wildtree. I am so excited about both these products. I have loved adding Herbalife into our life, and am looking forward to including Wildtree also. The new site is called "The Stepping Stones" the web address is www.thefirststepforward.com.
Last Friday, Brian and I had a Skype consultation with a clinic in Arizona. I am so ready to get started! I had talked to this doctor on the phone for as while about a month ago. I was really excited about working with him and even more now! Even with the distance, it will be more cost affective to go to Arizona, then the clinic we had decided before. Plus, we both enjoyed talking to him, and their success rates are great!
I have to get written approval from my gastro doctor. I have appt with him on Friday so will do that then. Next, Skype appt with IVF coordinator from Arizona. Finally, we HAVE to find a lawyer!
The giveaway is over! Thank you sooo much to Alyson for planning, executing, and promoting this fundraiser! $1100 was donated! We are sooo grateful! And so excited for Nicki, Cary, and Heather winning some awesome prizes! Thank you to the WONDERFUL women who donated items and gift certificates to make this happen! I hope everyone was able to see these shops and the awesome work that these women do.
Thank you Caryn! She planned a yardsale for this last weekend. She got donations from so many people! I can not believe all that was donated. Again... so grateful for everyone's help! We made $460 over the weekend from the yardsale! How awesome is that!? We are going to do another one in a few weeks.
Again, thank you everyone for your prayers, support and donations!
~Brian and Ali
With Mother's Day coming up, I want more than ever to be a mom.
From the time I was very young, my answer to the "What do you want to be when you grow up?" question was always "mom". My mom is so amazing. I just want to be able to be the kind of mom that she was. Of course there was a short period of time when I was a teenager that I don't know what was going on with her because she "didn't love me, and was trying to make my life miserable" Lol. So, when we have a child, I am never going to "make them do chores" "Make them do their homework". Ahaha! :-) Thankfully, my mom was strong enough to "make my life miserable" (If you know me you wouldn't think I was a drama queen, but I think every girl is with their mom at some point.) so that I could become a woman that I can be proud of.
My favorite teacher!
I am so grateful for the life that my parents gave us. My mom home schooled all 3 of us until I was in 7th grade. I remember some amazing projects that we were able to do! We were very involved in the home school groups in the area. I even was in a drama group! (pretty sure that was one of the things my mom made me do to make my life miserable) :-) I actually really enjoyed it, and learned a lot.
We traveled for about 7 months when I was 7/8 yrs old. More amazing things we were able to experience through this. My mom and I learned to make rag dolls, and we made those and would sell them at flea markets. Every stop that we made on our trip, my mom taught us everything there was to learn at the location. I am still amazed and admiring of the patience that she had. When we moved to Idaho, looking back, I know it had to have been so difficult. Now, having moved to a whole new place, it was difficult for me 5 years ago. But she had 3 kids, very small living quarters, and completely opposite climate. It makes me so grateful for the military community Brian and I have.
Me at 5 months. In this picture my mom was younger than I am
I could go on and on of everything I have ever admired about my mom, but it is just too much! The one thing I know that I can do to show how much I appreciate and admire her is to become a mom, and raise our child/children with as much love and trust in God as she has. Take all that she has taught me over the years, and become the best person that I can be.
I thought I knew what doctor we would be working with. I spent so much time trying to chose one before we spoke to them that I put it out of my mind we might chose to go elsewhere. Everything seemed fine at the first one but under the excitement, has been this stress weighing down on me. I am a little controlling so I have a difficult time asking Brian for help or advice until I am above and beyond my stress limit. That is where I have been the last week and a half (especially with a move coming up). When I finally started talking to him about it he told me to take 12 hours of NOT working on stuff. I couldn't even talk about it. It was very difficult but I woke the next morning with a rejuvenated mindset.
I basically just started over. I found a clinic in Arizona that I really liked the feel of the writting on their web site. I liked the thought process that the doctor took in all areas I read about. I spoke to the doctor and scheduled a Skype consult. It isn't for a couple of weeks because of scheduling, but I am so confident about this doctor and I am suddenly excited again, because it seems within reach, where before it just seemed like an almost impossible goal. Lets hope it really is where we are meant to go.
All of this... every twist and turn is just taking us to the baby that is meant to bless our lives. Everything has to line up the correct way to make sure the egg that is our baby is harvested at the right time.
This is the picture I saw. I needed a job and was looking all over including an online resale community on base. So, I contacted Caryn. We met one morning at their house. Of course you can't help but fall in love with these sweet kids. :-) I also felt pretty comfortable with Caryn. I am very fun and crazy with kids that will be fun and crazy too. But... I have always been so nervous around the parents simply because of my shyness. Caryn ended up hiring me. I was so excited. I had babysat before but one, this was 2 very little ones. Two, with Caryn being a nurse, it was pretty long days. My first day I fell in love with Caryn! She had typed out such a detailed schedule and notes. If you know me, you know I am the queen of schedules and lists. I remember making schedules for my days way back to when I was about 7. Lol.
I remember taking notes throughout the day. I am sure Caryn thought I was crazy and wanted to just say "will you just shut up and go home so I can go to sleep?" :-) But I started off telling her about every little thing throughout the day. "Olyvia ate this food, but not this food" Ethan did the funniest thing!" Haha. I finally cut down my notes to more important things like "what does this word mean?" Because it really is a new language! :-)
After some time Carlos was getting ready to come back from deployment. I was so nervous! I felt like I already knew him because I would talk with the kids about him. We would color pictures for him. It was insisted that I hug "daddy" (daddy doll) good night. And I read this adorable book about throwing stars back and forth with daddy ( pretty sure I cried reading that book the first couple times). But now the real life "daddy" was coming home. Ahhh! I don't really know why I was so nervous ... now I do! Lol I am just kidding Carlos! :-)
I have loved watching these kids grow. Especially these ages. 1 to 3 and 2 to 4. Such big changes. I love them very much. Brian really enjoys them too, and is amazing at helping me when they are here. Even though he "doesn't get paid to watch them" Ahaha!
We had thought about surrogacy in a "what if" scenario, but it is a very scary thing trusting your child for a full 9 months, where depending on what book you read everything in their life affects the baby. But I remember from the very beginning, impressed with the way Caryn takes care of herself. In parenting, she reminds me so much of the type of parents, my parents were. I honestly have so much trust in her, and no more worry than if it was I carrying the baby. Actually even more trust because she has been pregnant before. I do worry about how many times she will hate me and what percentage of those will be true.
I think another large worry is that something happens and splits us. I know this is going to be a very bonding experience since we will see each other so often. However, there are 2 very emotional women. I won't be having my hormones go haywire but I know I will be emotional.
I do ask if anyone has been in this situation before please leave me a comment or email me with any advice to make the emotional part go smoothly.
IP's (Intended Parents) Check "Resources" tab for links relating to this post.
This has been one crazy week. We are going to be moving next weekend, and FORTUNATELY I will get almost a week to clean. But at the moment, I am trying to get rid of as much stuff as can. We have a huge walk-in closet in the playroom, and I am getting it close to half full! Everything that is packed, I am putting in the outside storage, so I can not see it, and won't try to re-pack it! Lol. You have no idea how crazy I am with that kind of stuff.
The majority of this week, I have been doing research (with the help of our wonderful pod!). We have both been looking for the best way to handle the legal process. Apparently California is a "surrogate friendly state" but they have some very specific laws that have to be followed in order to make sure the baby is ours after birth, and to make it so Brian and My names are on the birth certificate. So... searching for a good ~cheapish...;-) lol~ lawyer.
OK.... so we have chosen the fertility clinic and had our first consult. Buuuttt.... now we are trying to find the best way to finance all of this. These are the options that I am finding:
Grants- There are many groups that do grants for IVF.
The ones that I can find are for specific health/fertility issues. Can't find anything for liver disease, or simply unable to carry a baby full term. Some I have found just do not fit in the time frame we have to work with. If we got the application in on time (some of the dates have already passed for 2013 grants), we would not find out till Fall...ish if we received the grant. Then, the money is not released to the clinic until January of 2013 and we would have to have used the money by the end of 2013. With Brian leaving for about 8 months around the beginning of 2013, it would be pushing it, and possibly losing our opportunity (and surrogate?) :-) If we even could wait, there is too much that could happen in within both our families in another year and a half that could take our baby away.... wow! I am going to try not to write "could" again tonight! Lol.
Loans- Filled out as many medical loan applications as I can find. Praying for some good news to come early next week.
Many people are helping me with some fundraisers. I am excited to plan a few events.
CUT, CUT, CUT!!! Starting fresh with a new budget! Analyzing every part. Already, the move will help quite a bit.
Finally, some clinics do a Donor Oocyte (egg) Program. This is where they decrease some of the cost by matching you with someone who needs eggs. So they just do the same as you would a normal IVF harvesting but then you would split the number of eggs that you have produced in that cycle, which would effect (affect? I can never remember) the odds of success.... I would guess. But I guess that would also depend on the number of eggs harvested, because we are only going to do 1-2 eggs.... hmmm.... Something to think about.... This may also require us to start before planned.
So we have to get some plans in order so that we can know what clinic we can work with, but we have to wait for word back from a clinic to know if the Donor Oocyte Program is possible for me. Thus... Chicken or the egg (haha...egg) :-)
Ok... That is what I have been doing this week. I will put some of the links on the "Resources" page for others that are playing the link game....Click here, gives you 2 more options...Click on one of those, but you have to open both so you can compare... oh! yay! more links to click on!!!... Before you know it you have 40 tabs open (no...sadly I am not exaggerating). Thank goodness for Firefox's ability to group tabs!
I hope this is able to help someone that is looking for all the options that are out there. Aaaannndd.... if you have any recommendations, let me know. :-)
The video below is so perfect right now. AND it has butterflies in every picture! I know it was there just for me to see and listen to so I can remember to continue searching, but know that what is meant to be will happen. He will make a way.
After 5 years of marriage, we decided it was time to seriously start thinking about a family. If you don't know my history, I have a liver disease that I have been dealing with for the last 4 years. After speaking to a few different doctors, we were advised to not get pregnant, as the risks of fatality are too great for both the baby and me. This decision was made while Brian was still deployed in Afghanistan. We decided we were going to wait for another year or so to search other options, whether it be surrogacy or adoption.
About a month after Brian returned home, I received a message from a friend, offering to carry a baby for us! I was in tears. I was amazed (and still am) at this wonderful gift she is willing to give. Brian and I talked and prayed about it, and after a couple weeks, gave her our answer: "We want to have a baby with you!" :-) I only told a few people, because I did not want to "jinx" it. I still am nervous about everyone knowing, and I am scared to be so excited. I know there are so many things that could happen that could make it not happen. But I finally decided that I am going to be excited! I am going to be completely open to it. If for no other reason, than to have the prayers of all our friends and family behind us.
Being able to share about this is so exciting. I am so anxious! My friend (Caryn) and I have gotten to know each other over the last 2 years. I have been watching her 2 babies and watched them grow. I could not have picked a better surrogate. I have no fear of trusting her with our baby through the pregnancy. I am excited that she will be able to be part of our families life forever. I am excited that her family is also excited about this, and I am loving getting to know them better. This child she is helping us bring to our lives is going to have so many people that love him/her.
