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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Don't Count Those Chickens!



You would think with living the "Military Life" and even just having made it to this stage in life, I would have learned this lesson. At least to not "count out loud".

I am such a trusting person. When I am told something is going to happen, I have no reason to doubt this. The truth is, people don't always follow through... or they have their own time frame.

The main thing that has proven this lesson to be correct is the military. I love this life (difficult as it is). However, there have been so many times that Brian has been told one thing will might happen. I try so hard to remember that things change...that what is said rarely happens as planned. But even with that in my mind, I open my big mouth (like I am right now) and I share information that I am excited about. Then... things change, and I am left looking like an idiot for saying anything. So, after that happens about 20 times, why spend that emotion!? Why share? Why do I keep opening myself up and allow myself to be viewed like this? I don't know that this WILL change. I don't know that I WANT myself to change. I like that I think the best of people first. I don't want to always think "I'll believe it when I see it." BUT... I do need to keep things to myself if it is not set in stone.

All of this came about because we have been having difficulty receiving one of the loans that was promised by someone. It is a loan from a person (as opposed to a bank loan), interest free, and relaxed payback timing (although time of birth is still our goal). We are in this same situation where we need to pay for things right now. I have been taking a break from "bugging" everyone with constant fundraisers, because I was counting on this. But here I am again, "egg on my face" unprepared for a variation from the plan. Fortunately we are not at risk of complete standstill and loss of the progress we are at. However, I still look like an idiot, and will be back to "bugging" you all with our fundraisers! :-)

I am excited to hear about Caryn's appointment today, and for her to share with you!

1 comment:

Cindyraella said...

Ali, Praise Him in the Storm. Look for what He is trying to show you. Listen for what He is trying to say. That's all we can do. Just get on our faces and be quiet and hear wait. I know it's hard, but give Him a chance to show you His Miracles. I love you baby.