Update

I have been needing to update for a while now. I think I have been nervous. Everything was so open and every step updated last time. I really just haven't wanted to share my thoughts and feelings as we start this new round. I have managed to push everything down over the last 5 months, but since I started back on my protocol, with every step written out with dates, everything is starting to surface again. All the pain and loneliness in December is right back in the front of my mind. The fears of the same thing happening looming in. It is burying me. I just want to hide away until it is all over one way or another. But how I have been handling this has done horrible things to my health, friendships, and business.

I have gotta figure something out because the one injection that I have been on for 2 weeks is going to change to 3 injections, and one pill. This is the "stronger protocol" this time. I am assuming it is going to make me pretty crazy. I have set up my Herbalife stuff in the kitchen and have successfully been eating correctly and exercising 1 day in a row! Today will be #2! Then my Herbalife conference this weekend is sure to give me some great motivation. (along with a little "cheat" dinner in Long Beach to see my cousin) The thing I keep telling myself is that allowing this "self-pitty-party" to go on is only going to increase the possibility of negative results.

I should be starting the rest of the meds in the next day or 2. I will have a blood test and ultrasound here in Cali, then sometime the last week of April/first week of May (depends on results from Cali ultrasound) I will be going to Scottsdale, AZ. They are saying the retrieval should be on the 3rd or 4th of May.

Since I will need a driver, Caryn will be coming as close as possible to retrieval day, since she has to have some tests done there anyways.